Life of a Sales Associate

Working in retail, there are many things that customers do that just piss you off to the extreme. Since I have been in contact with many of these customers in the last few days, I am going to write a little something something to express how annoyed they all have made me.

1) Sales associate is not a nickname for personal maid.
When you go into the dressing room, do not leave your clothes on the floor, thrown over the door, or any other place that's not the hanger. I'm sure you are old enough to clean up after yourself.

2) If you really have to sift through the table shirts to find your shirt, please have some care because more than likely an associate had just tidied up that table to look presentable and then there you go unfolding and scattering all of the shirts and other clothing items all over the table, and I know that when you are done sabotaging the merchandise you know that it now looks a mess...if you think someone is giving you the death glare then they probably are. ( At least I do)

3) It is the sales associates job to help you find what you are looking for.....that does not mean that you can sit down and direct us on where to find your clothes or bring you the items that we think you might like. More than likely you are not the only one in the store and that means that there are other people that we have to attend to. I really don't care for the story of your bum leg, I am not your personal shopper.

4) Just because you have money to spend on whatever knick knacks you want does not give you the right to treat the sales associate like trash. Manners are for all types of people including snooty ones who talk down to people they feel are beneath them. A please and a thank you never hurt anyone.

5) When you look at the door and see that the store is closing at 8:30 pm and currently it is 8:20 pm that should not spark the "oooh I just made it" thought. If you know you have 10 minutes to shop then you better know what you want and where to find it because it is rude and really annoying to make the people working stay an extra 30-45 minutes for you. In case you didn't know, there are things that the sales people need to do that can only be done once the store is closed and the customers gone. So with you staying your extra 30 minutes pushes them back on all of the stuff they need to do before going home.

6) This one goes with #5 and really #1 also. If you know the store is closed then please please please don't go around the store putting things out of order, trying on multitudes of clothing, disorganizing the accessories, or anything of that sort. Because more than likely a sales person had already started straightening and cleaning the store for closing. This is another instance where if you feel heat on the back of your head then that's the sales person staring a hole through it and wishing you bodily harm.

7) Don't tell a sales associate how to do their job. I don't care if it's your favorite store and you shop there every week and they know you by name. Don't do it. When at the cash register don't tell me what button I need to push or what paper I need to sign. I am here everyday and understand what it is I need to do. With you blubbering and talking nonsense, you are making what would have been a short process into a long drawn out deal simply because I will have to sit there and listen to you jabber on and not tell you to go _____ yourself.

8) Here is a tip for you. If you are a nice amiable customer and we have coupons stashed behind the counter, you will get one. But if you are a demanding customer that only wants to complain and cause a fuss then no I am withholding the coupon for someone who has earned it.


Working in retail is harder than it looks especially for people lacking in the people skills but hopefully this will help some would be customers on the things that they shouldn't do so that they are not at the receiving end of a death glare.

And of course there are countless more Don'ts but with me having to relive all of these it has given me a headache and a bad temper.

Lyfe Iz Gr8

I've come to the realization ( or rather I've had this realization since this phenomenon started) that this generation is becoming the most lazy and short cut obsessed generation ever.

If you take out the middle letters of a word, I hate you.
If you substitute like sounding letters for their real ones, I hate you.
If you use the substituting letters to form a word that is the same amount of letters as the original, I hate you.
If you use numbers in the middle of words, I hate you.
If you use a single letter or number to take the place of an actual word, I hate you.

No, I never would have guessed that when you typed abt you meant about or when you write mii you really meant my.

I think that it actually takes up more brain power to write these pseudo words than to use the correct form in which you have been learning since you started school.


im abt 2 b n skool txt mi l8ter.

What the hell did you just say? I need a decoder ring and an urban dictionary to understand what you are saying.
I used to get mad when people didn't know the difference between there, they're, and their which now i've given up on because I guess its just too hard.

But seriously? No and Know? I know it takes less time to write no but I have to read the sentence twice because the first time it just didn't make any sense. Or I should say ne sense.


This is my biggest pet peeve in case you couldn't tell.

Life is Friends Spelled Backwards

There is no better feeling than knowing that you have finally found the right friends with the right qualities. For instance, I like my friends funny with a touch of "oh god I can't believe they just said that."

There is no better feeling than walking around someone else's big city snapping photos of things that they see everyday.....ok there are a lot of things better than that but I needed a segue into what I really wanted to talk about.

Today I spent the better part of the day walking around snapping pictures of tall buildings and historically fascinating spots with friends that I hadn't seen in a long time.

Yes I had already seen most of the sites but there's just something about doing it with friends that makes it seem like the first time. (that's what she said?)

But I digress. What I really wanted to say is that today I saw a man wearing leather pants.....and this may not seem like a big deal but seriously my life is complete. I had never seen one! I thought it was a myth but yes, they do exist.

Only.......you will have to believe this just as much as you believe in bigfoot or the chupacabra cause, dare I say it, I wasn't quick enough to take a picture. But its true! I did see it!

You'll just have to take my word for it.



By the way: You'd think googling "man in leather pants" would be a horrific idea but disappointedly (not a real word) it was quite tame. Sad.

Life May Be Wonderful but It Gives Me a Headache

Today I was looking at my cat as it stalked towards me like a majestic African lion and I got that feeling in my head that told me I was about to think of something profound....extraordinary.

Cats are alive.

Like really think about it....its moving and breathing, and shedding its hair all over the place. I don't know about you but it gave me shivers. Some things you just overlook but when you stare it directly in the face it knocks you off your axis.

Ok so maybe you have had this feeling about other things like how snow is just frozen water falling from the sky or how pickles are just cucumbers steeped in vinegar.

Mind boggling!


Anyway I did have a point so i'm just going to get to it.


I've come to realize that I didn't have a point but just look....no go outside and look around at all the things that are alive and tell me its not amazing......just saying.


And if you are wondering about the elegant creature that inspired this subject take a look:



I'm not a crazy cat lady......yet.

Bitter Sweet is for Chocolate Not Life.

Life after college in one word. Sucks. What happened to "you can do anything when you put your heart into it"? I could tell you but me thinks its too crude to say.

I have successfully graduated from college, completed an internship, moved away from all i've known for the past 4 years, only to be stuck in a place that snows constantly and working a part-time job at a place where I actually have to smile and talk to old ladies every day.


Think i'm bitter?

You better believe it.


But there are things to be thankful for in this time of overly riched people taking money from the masses.....I have to think of some first but i'm sure they are out there.


So whenever you are feeling frustrated and just so dog gon' mad at your luck.....just do what I do and follow these instructions.