Her eyes look up at me with clear distaste as I reach for that last one. The one that is going to get me through, the one that is going to save me. There are things in life that are so bad but make you feel so good. This relationship is one of them. The feeling I get when i'm near, knowing that in just another minute it will be mine.
She doesn't like who I am or rather who I have become but it's about time she learned that you can't plan life for someone else; you can't make someone into something they're not. I love myself, why wouldn't I. I love who I am when i'm with the one I love. I will do anything for it. Anything.
This place is my haven, my sacred ground. I am free from condemnation because they all love. They all know the feeling of its embrace, the recklessness, the euphoria. No explanations are needed here, never here.
But like with all lovers, there are rough patches. Some situations are easily thwarted while others are a lot harder to circumvent. With a lover like mine its easy to make mistakes and fall into that dark place, the place that makes you feel so cold inside and you forget who you are, were, are going to be.
My lover, my other half, my can't live without is my bottle, my spirits, my liquor.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Life's Guilty Pleasures
I like to read.
And I usually choose the genre of this wonderful past time by how I am feeling at the moment. Like if i'm feeling trapped in my life of boring then I will pick out an epic tale of adventure and danger and dragons!
If I'm feeling as if my life isn't as meaningful as it could be then I will pick up a sad, emotional book of love and loss and finding your way.
Right now I am reading......romance novels.
Yeah. That's right.
I have gotten to the point where I would like a bit of companionship and since I don't really put myself out there these days, I am just making due with the tale of women meeting men they instantly hate but then that passion turns into love. Sigh.
Yeah at this moment i'm feeling pretty pathetic...there's no need for you tell me that.
I can't even say i'm ashamed of it cause really I am enjoying it. I mean once you get past all of the sexy time.....they aren't that bad.
Anyway, so I think I will be stuck on this genre for a while or at least until the knight in shining armor comes along.
p.s please really don't be a knight....i'd prefer a doctor or fire fighter or bartender or human.
p.p.s I wish I had photoshop cause I really want to see that dragon eat Fabio.
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